what am i to you.
am i significant in your eyes?
please say i am.
please let me know you do cherish me.

ahhs. my whole weekend was filled with activities ? saturday went to the flea market ? haha! well sort of ? i guess it was a flea market.. just that it was small and yeps... small (: . okay there was something pretty cool in that flea market. bungee trampoline! there are elastic stuff holding on to ya. you get to goo up very high! seriously it was cool. a little girl was like jumpinggg soo soo high. she could almost touch the trees! hahas. okay so we tried the kallang flea market? while waitin for jiamin to come... we were like singing our stomachs out? when jiamin came, we met with a strange incident! there was a huge puddle in front of us ? jiamin and calista couldnt cross becos of the huge puddle? they were like wearring their nice nice slippers. (sheesh girls) well.. with my intelligence we sort of managed to get across! haha. okay after that reached kallang and lucinda realised that she got cheated. there wasnt any flea market? yeps. haha. lulu was feeling really very guilty. ohmann. :P she got blister too! i wonder how she is now!
after this we went junction8 to go and support the band members. haha we were desperately trying to get marie's / jooleng's / hubert's attention. haha i was too short la. so i jumped up and down! =X ohwell they saw us eventually! we got bored after all and so we ate and went to calista's house! haha. we played like bridge and calista introduced a new game to us, some yahoo waiteress game? hahas. celestine and jiamin was playing it! haha. jiamin at first got lvl8 and everyone was like woah. lvl 8! thats high? hahas. celestine then played after jiamin.. e 1st try she got lvl 8 but the 2nd try... that was the time she became the wcg champion of that game! hahahs. we started playing hearts. playing up to 100 points. hahas. e time we started was the e time she started her game. haha.. when we finished playing hearts she was still going on and on! guess what lvl she got up until! haha.. WCG CHAMPION lvl 34!! ohmy goodness! anyway her dad is so sweet la! after that her dad came home? and i was like hello uncle! haha i think i must have charmed him or smth haha. suddenly he gave calista 50 bucks and ask calista to treat us supper! woahhh! hahaas. we ate like alot of rotipratas!! it was very nice! (: yeah. thanks for the treat calista.. if you ever read this blog laa. after that we went back and played hearts and celestine went back to train for her wcg title. ahh. i feel damn lazy to blog somemore haha. okay than we watch some super crappy shows. haha.. i will tell anyone that asks me what was the shows about! oh oh. i got pictures of me at some wedding dinner not so long ago. take a look if ya want.

http://share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=8AcOGTRwzcOGGg

okay anyway. this is at dawn's request. "4. nat"

5 weird/random things about myself

1. im scared of cockroaches! i mean guys arent supposed to be scared of xiao xiang! haha.. Its not my fault that im scared of them. its just that many of the cockroaches those HUGEHUGE ones sometimes crawl across my feet when im on my computer, i would feel a tingling sensation. when i look down it would be a damn big cockroach with some white stripes on it like a zebra ? well sort la larhs. but cockroaches do flyy! hahas.. once i tried to gather my courage to hit a xiao xiang. haha it flew away! ><>< 5. i wanna grow fat ? hahas. but i dont know how! my weight is always stagnant! im not sure if its gonna increase anymore? bleh. i think i dont enough fats to convert into muscles ? haha. i dunno if the "must have fat to convert them into muscles is true" grrs. cos i want a nicer

now, the 5 people i would like to continue this retarded game on their blogs
not in order of preference
1. jiamin
2. cindy
3. anita
4. calista
5. dawn :P
5. joa

build.. a few days seems like a thousand years without you. (:

haha. today's training was tiring? iguess. sprinting requires alot of mental + physical strength haha. i tihnk im gonna train up on my forearms.. ><>< its gonna be FUN! FUN! FUN ! whee. 100 pullups aday.. i cann picture it now hahaha ! whee... im excited!

ahh. my hopes my dreams all dashed in an instant. my world falled down like rain. would i ever stand up again? would i ever be strong?

joshua 1:9 I command you – be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.

I know i promised to myself not to fall in love again
But I cant stop thinking about "LOVE"
Every time when I lay down to my bed I dream about it
When I close my eyes I only pictured the happiness I had when I was in love
Things are not the same, now and way back when I was in love all those happiness
I had changed to sadness Here I am no one to hold today and tonight, and I ask myself
Would I ever fall in love again? I have no ANSWER to myself.
Once i pictured the special times I had when I was in love
I just fall in love but I don't don't know why I promised to myself
I never though that I will lose her in my life but I was wrong
She was mine, and I was Hers but I don't what the love means to us at that time
I wished million times to get back for her
If only that wish would come truethere will no pain in our love ever again
I had a special time when I was in love!

ahh (: i hope cindy is alright yeps... canoeing like soo far away >< all the way to sister's island! woah... i cant wait to see her muscles after that! hahaha. it must be super huge.
anyway today i went to canoe despite my sunburnt. woah... haha i think me + jeans + my "hot" bod looks not that bad! hehs. i meann with me so chao taaa. but.. ouch its really a painful price to pay... canoeing wit sunburnt aint that fun ? yeahs.. the shirt rubbing against the skin. grrs. people purposely touching your shoulder! haha. my cousin too! touching my shoulder! :(
oh. anyway today's training was interesting? haha.. we did some teambonding activities. yeah.. my team3 rocks. (: oh oh. anyway i had to rush off for some wedding dinner in kulai?! hahas. it was soo fun! hahas.. i had 3 cans of beer + lemonade. haha. it was nice ? really. usually i hated beer and everything ? haha but i think cos only got 2% of alcohol thats why drink till sunrise also wont get drunk one la. hahaha. but yeah. the food was good whoo! my table was all girls lahh.. < 2 of my sisters and... like 6 more 27yearold girls hahaha. woahh. hahas.. -grins-
anyway i was complimented.. erms.. handsome and muscular leh! hahaha.. not that bad! (:

im happy!

something happened ytd that left me thinking for a while.

what happens when dreams become real...

is there a meaning behind it? i dunno.

ohwell... im burnt and its painful :( hahas. i wonder how to canoe today!

i had enuff of your rubbish... sou gou le. i given you so many chances... but you blew it all? how many times must you break my heart. how many times would i be hurt again... do you like my heart to be broken into a thousand pieces, no million pieces than you are satisfied?

____ i hate you and i will never ever love you again.

hahas.. damn shoik! imagine you say this to someone! (: hahahas.

ahh. i met a japanese girl online! haha.. she is funny and interesting! whee!

i love you

i love you, do you love me? sighs.


hahas. whee. im chionging game now larhs! flyff all the way =.= hehe i lvl 20 le! whoohoo.

ahhs.. STUPID POPUPS! hehe. *seenoevil* its adultfriendfinder or smth .. grrr.. so bian tai larhs... i cant delete the adware too ! grrrs!


i really wanna go out with you.
why cant you ask me !!
its has been days since i last saw you...
sighs sighs sighs! *blinkblinks*

ehs. okay today was interesting. actually i learnt quite alot from church yeahs, today sermon was about abortion.. but the main thing that struck me was that pride, greed, and some other sinful stuff have already taken a lil foothold in my life. no matter how little, it may seem it is still a sin. the number of times you sin in a day doesnt tally with the number of times you confess your sin... wouldnt it be like erms.. bad?- yeahs. it held me thinking for a while... making me feel all so dumb and guilty. ohwell. (:

anyway i dont support abortion! not even if the child is like having some defects ... its still a living thing! its still a life.. and i shall not murder..


hahas. after church i was wanting to go shopping ! haha so i went ?! with czekin, daniel, timothy, shi han and david. it was fun trying out all the clothes.. especially the white singlet AH PEK clothe :P hahas.. it was disgusting! anyway i bought a bag, a polo shirt? and a sleeveless shirt whee. maybe i'll wear it after canoeing training or smth.. whee. im happy!! cos i bought stuff? and i spent all my money! haha. oh i saw a G2000 jacket ... it was erms light brown in colour is of a vry nice material! it is yet formal yet casual! hahas... (: it really looks nice! but the price also very nice! hahahas $129 if i am not wrong! haha... but yeah i shopped for pretty long larhs... haha i hope to get more $$ then i can spend all on clothes! haha. its so fun buying clothes!!


this is to minty?- she wanted this thing! hahas. cindy, she is a really nice girl! (: her canoeing is good! hahas.. really. she is always behind me! chasing after me! haha. ooh this sounds wrong, but yeahs.. she has good technique and strength i think?? (: cindy has also an interesting personality! haha.. but yeahs.. her erms willingness to go an extra mile for the personn is really commendable =p hehes.. i especially like the red glittery stuff that is taken! hahas :P errs.. good luck for your OP , dryrun tomorrow! (: swim,chompchomp,cycle! (:

wah. okay. my theory proved me right? but... after the training.. i was damn shagged. arghz. hahas.. i really must train on my fitness now.

increase frequency,
improve on my strokes,
win evelyn,
feel so shoik :P
but it was erms... lucky. now she knows how to use the paddle.. im so dead. im just gonna increase my frequency once again.. i slept for 1 hour haha. i feel so so good (:


tired.


to the one and only you:`- i will just wait till you are ready. wait till im sick and tired of waiting. wait till there is no one left in this world. its just too hard to forget, just too hard to regret! silently... i'll wait. -runs away-

ahs.. okay today was a fun day.. filled with events again? (: firstly we had training? and yeah i met up with minty to go to school.. haha. ohman i caused her to be late! butbut... it was the jam okay! i left the house at 7.45 ... so it was quite early already! haha. but yeah it was fun talking to minty larhs! whee.. she is so crazy! ohwell. erms.. thenthen we had gym training ... then some timing taken for 2.4km. woah. i cut 1 1/2 mins .. for my 2.4km.. it was really a great achievement. haha. yeps. erms... then i had to rush all the way to tampines and take 29 to changi village! woah. i went to changi village hotel! haha. it was nice! really. it gives us the cosy feeling... that nice atmosphere! okay. i went there to do cip? there is a conference held in changi village hotel that is promoting sailing for the paralympics. haha. i hope i spell correctly. and yeps. the KING of greece came and R.A. teo chee hien? yeahs.. it was a interesting sight. we were like ushers, registration people, car park marshalls? yeps.. hahas.. i think it was really very fun! and oh oh! i handled a $28k sailing simulator. woah.. and it was tough being the whole thing into the hotel cos it couldnt fit into the doors. haha. jiaxing also wanted to take the picture of the king of greece. but haha he didnt dare. ohwell! fun fun! oh i always went to sight see? and yeah saw the old changi hospital once again? haha.. whee... HAUNTED ahhhHHhAH... scary larhs.. spirits roam there ? i guess?


okay. by like 9pm ? i was already very very tired.. i slept in the bus on the way back? taking 29 and 72... ahh.. today overall was so so fun.. just that there was a minor cock up! grrr. i lost my handphone pouch!! i dunno lah.. i keep on losing my handphone pouches.. im just like getting irritated with my ownself. haha. im gonna follow what corn said "no use having a handphone pouch la " haha. so im not gonna buy it anymore! whee. at least i solved a problem of mine.


loneliness,

i longed for love,

but to no avail,

i searched for warmth,

but i found coldness,

who do i turn to?

what should i do?

would ever love lift me up where we belong?

would i ever soar together with you on love?


i know who to turn to.

alright. im gonna tell you about my interesting day! haha.. woke up at about 7am.. ahh.. the alarm rang.. thenn i was like.. OH MANN! why did my alarm ring :( then i went back to sleep. hahas.. slept till about 8am. soo yeah. washed up and played gunbound till about 11am? i went straight to do my surveys! haha... whee... from 11am to 2pm i was walking up and down the serangoon north estate. okay. basically i earnt about $60.. not that bad for 3 hours. haha. ah.. but it was tiring? walking up and down the stairs... facing rejection... and yeah... trying to get my 3 "orginals" first! oh man chinese is soo important for this job. hahas... i wasl ike... errs.. zhou cha! blahblahbalh... my chinese really cannot make it. haha.. yeah. but aiyah now i need to pay back my sister and... my friend ahh. no more $$ le hahaha. oh. something good happened today.. while i was doing survey.. one family was like talking about financial burden and stuff. then the lady was so kind... keep on talking to me! haha she really made me feel spirited. and and when the husband came back he was like... "here you go a drink... today's weather so hot..!" in chinese. ahh.. so sweet of him. >< sighs..yeahs.. thank you! :) thank God :)


hahas. okay. then then.. i came home and ate like A WHOLE BIG BOWL OF porridge.. haha. seriously very big. i wonder how i could finish but i did! hahaha. yeah.. and i did like 90 bicep thingy >< and and... some situps... yeahs.. haha then i went to swim at night! :) ahhs... i saw a junzhang in my club to day after i went to swim. oh man! he was so tanned. haha.. so chao ta larhs! it was nice seeing him.. these few days i have been like bumping into him... ohwell..

-tired! nathaniel

haha. shant brood over the past. i think i deleted most of my saddening posts! hehe. removing all the sad memories behind and moving foward to a new beginning!! -marches- wahaha


rabbit - thanks for everything (: aiyah.. you know what i meann



anyway i recently just got a job. ahh.. i hope im brave and bold enuff to go up door to door and yeah... i think this one must pray one! hahha.. pray that the person will be kind enuff to do my surveys.. cos i know its gonna take damn long... about 20mins for a survey.... i hope its shorter tho.. haha. ohwell... but its $10 per survey... its gonna rawk! i really hope i get really kind people. haha.


ohwell i got nothing to say now..
signing off! -

*edited*

today i did some weights ? haha. i feel so erms accomplished! really. its like the first time im being so self disciplined and yeah. :) hahaha.

oh. tmr is pw dryrun 2? haha. whee. i dont really look forward to it tho? hahahas.. ohwell!